We listen to obtain information, we listen to understand, we listen for enjoyment, and we listen to learn. Research suggests that we remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear. That means that when we talk to our boss, colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, we pay attention to less than half of the conversation. This is dismal!
Listening is one of the most important skills one can have.
How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the
quality of your relationships with others. The way to become a better listener
is to practice "active listening”. It takes a lot of concentration and
determination to be an active listener.
Do’s:
- Maintain eye contact
- Limit your talking
- Focus on the speaker
- Ask questions
- Manage your emotions
- Listen with your eyes and ears
- Listen for ideas and opportunities
- Remain open to the conversation
- Confirm understanding, paraphrase
- Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile)
- Ignore distractions
Don't:
- Interrupt
- Show signs of impatience
- Judge or argue mentally
- Multitask during a conversation
- Project your ideas
- Think about what to say next
- Have expectations or preconceived ideas
- Become defensive or assume you are being attacked
- Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language
- Listen with biases or closed to new ideas
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